Deevon's Blog: April 2016

Showing our Writing Process - Write Draft / Edit and Polish / Publish

Written Language - Cameo

Learning Intention: I am learning how to use appropriate and effective similes in my cameo writing.

Success Criteria:

I am able to find and highlight similes in a cameo and explain why they work.

I am able to write appropriate similes for objects in my cameo.

Here is an example: WINTER

Winter blows its cold breath everywhere.

The early morning frost greets you like being welcomed onto the marae.

The wind howls in the freezing air like a stray dog hungry for a bone.

Snowflakes flutter like leaves falling from autumn trees, covering the ground with a white sparkling blanket.

The trees become bare, brown bones standing like statues admiring the view.

Heavy rain falls from the sky like a thousand hooves pounding against the ground.

Chilly bitterness in the air, winter is here.

Here is my draft piece of writing!

Autumn

The leaves make a colourful blanket across the ground.

The leaves flutter to the ground like a piece of paper.(Do you need this one!!)

The leaves crunch under my feet as I run like a tiger.

Leaves skater everywhere in the wind.

Frost covering the ground slowly

Leaves flutter to the ground like a snowflake making a blanket.

The wind holes like a wolf that has lost it’s pack.

The trees stand like a statue.

Dew spotted everywhere like the spots on a spotty dog

Frost everywhere, has finally come!!!!

Here is my published piece of writing

Autumn

The leaves make a colourful blanket across the ground.

The leaves crunch under my feet as I run like a tiger.

Leaves scattered everywhere in the wind.

Frost covering the ground.

Leaves flutter to the ground like a snowflake, making a blanket.

The wind howls like a wolf that has lost it’s pack.

The trees stand like a statue.

Dew spotted everywhere in the grass.

Frost everywhere has finally come!!!!

Deevon's Blog